Sometimes it just stings.

*I’ve been debating whether or not to post this all week. I decided to go ahead with hope that this will help someone… and trust that my friends/family/readers realize this is not a pity party.

Sometimes it just stings.

Yesterday (Mother’s Day) was a hard day for me. And not because I can’t/don’t have babies (although my heart breaks for my friends who are going through this) or because I don’t know wonderful mothers or because I had some horrible relationship with my mom. In fact, I had a wonderful Mr.Mom who learned to french braid hair, play with Barbies, and actively learned about ‘girl’ life just so I could have as normal upbringing as possible. I have 2 phenomenal grandmothers who helped take care of me and walked along side my Daddy to help raise me. I have an Aunt who will go out of her way to make me feel special and catered to. There were mother’s of friends, “aunts”, and a nanny who all treated me like family, even though no blood is shared. I’ve also got the best mother-in-law a girl could hope for.  I am thankful for each of them and the impact they’ve had on my life.

BUT…

it is an ugly but…

and it is a but that I will battle the rest of my life…

I love this photo. I love that expression.

I feel the sting. The sting only death can leave on a person. It’s one of those things. A flood of emotion that slugs you in the gut and is just plain hard. Mother’s Day does not make me unhappy. I don’t write this out of bitterness or anger, or to take away from other’s wonderful days. I’m just sore. Stung, sore, and raw. Like a fresh wound. I’ve found that grief ebbs and flows, and this is a time when it flows. Jealousy creeps. There is the hole in my life, a hole that is reserved for MY mother. For OUR relationship. The longing for a relationship strong and secure, similar to the one I have with my Dad, but different because it would be with my mother. I replay stories and photographs in my mind. Stories other people have told me, because I really don’t remember. Pictures I have seen and committed to memory. A tear or two fall. Then I look in the mirror. Something about looking in the mirror makes me feel comfort, closer to her. I look like her, and that is something we share. She was physically beautiful, and I’m glad I got a little bit of that beauty! She also had a beautiful character and is fondly remembered. I’m thankful every time someone tells me I remind them of her. Whether I do something just like her or say something just like her or my mannerisms are just like her. I’m thankful for these notable similarities because it is another dot that connects me to her. Another thing to help give shape to the void.  I trust that she would be proud, because they tell me she would be. They know because they remember. While I miss her terribly and wish I could bring her a humongous bouquet of peonies and a Val’s pizza for dinner, instead I must cling to the promises of the cross. The promise that Christ has indeed defeated sin. That she isn’t experiencing any sadness or pain or consequence of sin — rather she is dancing with joy. She is home. That one day I will go home, too. We will be together and worship Him. And that will be a fabulous day friends. A day I anticipate.

This week also marks the week my parents would have celebrated their anniversary. I’m so thankful she had such fantastic taste. She knew he would be  terrific father… even if he doubted. She did well!

Some comfort from Hebrews 12:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ² looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Tomahawk Chop

Happy Monday, everyone!

I just stole these from my sister in law, Ness’  blog. Figure I better post before I forget! On Friday night we were invited to our first Braves game of the season with Sean, Ness, and all 3 girls! We were lucky enough to be treated to the Bobby Cox Suite… if only 6 would have been there himself! His stand-in was pretty lifelike though.

Both the view and food were wonderful

Fun Fact – The Braves chop is one of the first things these girls are taught to do. By now they are pros!

So grateful to get to be so close to family and get to see these sweet girls growing.

Saturday we spent doing MORE yard improvements – seems like it will never end. Things are coming together and every time we’re out there we just have to remind ourselves where we started from.

What kind of time warp exists on weekends? Good grief!

It FLEW by… but I got to spend time with my little family and we had a good time.

These little ones turned half-year old and we celebrated with a fun half-birthday (un-birthday) party!

Carter - Lily - Mailon

Friday we headed up to NGA to see Jackson perform in a play which was hysterical.

If it is ever near, go! You’ll laugh. Guaranteed. Oh, and Jax threw in a F*R*I*E*N*D*S reference in the middle which was appreciated.

Saturday we hit up Dunwoody’s annual Lemonade Days and headed to a friends BBQ. Here’s a cute shot of me and my pup on the way.

Happy Monday, friends! 

Words Worth Remembering – Encouragement

Lovely little reminder for this Friday! 

Sometimes I have the worst attitude. Today began that way. I woke up on time, but spent too long perusing my facebook, twitter, and pinterest apps which made me run late. I didn’t like my hair (for the 3rd day in a row!) but i JUST got it cut. My face is all breaking out and I have no clue why. I had to go back in the house twice for random stuff I forgot. I still left my lunch at home. The weather sucks. I decided to go through the drive-thru at starbucks (since I had Toby with me) and the person 2 cars in front of me must have ordered drinks for the entire office. When I got to the window, I realized that I ordered the wrong drink — how does that happen? Then I Called home and found out my Dad is super sick with some flu and sounds like the talking-dead so I’d have to drop Toby off at his house. Should I continue… OMG!

I needed that precious little yellow reminder. Chin up. ALL of these ‘problems’ (first-world as they may be) stem from my choices (to get up late, to complain, to claim victim). Seriously, I need prayer a huge attitude adjustment. Selfishness is ruling in my sinful heart. All morning, I’ve kept longing for a different day — wishing this one away. A day with sunshine, my effortless hair framing my flawless skin, the barista whistling a tune while passing me my perfectly concocted iced mocha, and walking into work with my lunch a full 15 minutes ahead of schedule and everything is perfectly in order. I don’t necessarily believe it is wrong to long for days like those. However, I should not allow my wants to steal away my ability to be thankful and glad for what the Lord has provided me with today. A faithful husband, a pup who brings me joy, a job, money to buy lunch, a safe trip to work, rain/cool weather for my newly planted flowers (peonies!!!), etc.

I am a mess. Always. Good days and bad.

On days like today it is blatantly obvious. And on a ‘perfect’ day, I’d still be a mess because more than likely I’d think that the ease of the day was dependent solely on me and my greatness/togetherness, instead of recognizing and giving thanks to Him.

I don’t have things under control.

I don’t have it together.

However, despite my mess and sin – He is sustaining me, providing me, and continually blessing me with more than I deserve. With that knowledge, I can firmly say and believe… everything’s gonna be ok!

SOfa Comfy!

I really don’t rush when it comes to spending a lot of money. Funny how I can so easily pick up a new shirt, but when it comes to the ‘big’ stuff it takes me years to make a decision. Ever since the big wall came down, our living room just seemed crowded with the tall, deep, oversize couch and chair and a half.  Not awful. Definitely not unlivable. Just crowded.

Furniture hunting is pretty fun (remember way back when this all started here and here?)… until the beautiful piece you had your eye on is hard as a rock or the company stops producing the piece you finally decided to bite the bullet on. We had kind of given up on finding something in the near future. However, on a sleepless night, I was up trolling furniture websites for anything new. I happened to end up on Macy’s website and found they were having a great sale. We went to the store the next day to find this leather sectional was JUST as comfy as it was handsome. He was begging us to take him home – and who can say no to begging? So with a lot of nerves and a confident husband, we purchased the sectional and he arrived 2 weeks later!

I think it looks pretty dang awesome!

In preparation for the new furniture I decided to deep clean the living room. Great idea, poor execution. I even took down and washed my curtains from Target. They say MACHINE WASHABLE on the tag. I bet you can see where this is going. They shrunk almost an entire foot. Nothing you can do but laugh… ya know, because tears may actually cause them to shrink more and I really couldn’t handle that!

They used to touch the floor... now they don't even hit the bottom of the window

Please tell me I’m not the only one who has a knack for shrinking stuff… I’ll just go sit on my new, super comfy sofa and sulk.

Shameless Plug – Filigree Shoppe

Hey Y’all!

My BFF, Jessica, and her husband are in the midst of an adoption journey (check out their blog). Please check out the shop she has on Etsy, Filigree Shoppe and adopt an accessory for yourself or a friend!

Fav leather wrap bracelet:

Fav tote:

Choices

I’m continuing to word-vomit about living simply and what all it means to me/us… In addition to the weekly meetings my husband and I hold, we also shoot encouraging quotes/scripture back and forth to each other to spur one another on. This morning I received this quote:

Planning is a process of choosing among those many options. If we do not choose to plan, then we choose to have others plan for us.

- Richard I Winwood

Now, I have NO CLUE who Richard I Winwood is {after a quick google search, turns out he is an exec with Franklin Covey}… but he hits it right on the head. If we do not choose to be intentional about planning we, in essence, are choosing to be victim to circumstance.

In some cases being a victim of circumstance may not be a bad thing and spontaneity has moments of greatness. (I’m also a believer in planning times for spontaneity… how ironic?) However, the risks of not planning out our time and/or finances can (and, I believe, will) rob us of peace. Time-wise we may over-commit and let people down. Or we may meet those commitments and let our family down by neglecting to spend quality time together. We may decline an opportunity to serve our friends only to realize in hindsight we could have helped them and still maintained our responsibilities. We also may find our minds spinning at night with the “Did I remember to…” or the endless list of things we haven’t done. Financially speaking, friends may be in need and if we give we are unsettled because we aren’t sure if we gave too much and are going to struggle to meet our own responsibilities. On the flip side, friends may be in need and we choose not to give because we don’t feel confident in our own situation.

There is a freeing confidence and security of knowing where we stand (with time or money). Knowing the path our feet are currently on and where we are headed. Life will happen and sometimes the path will be altered — we can’t always see what is around the corner. It is much easier to make adjustments/’go with the flow’/adapt if there is a foundation (predictable pattern) from which our choices are made.

There are bound to be times where we fail, no matter how hard we try. Times when we seem to just fall on our face. Times when, even though we thought we had it all figured out and our intentions were good, it just goes completely awry. In those times, we can cling to the cross and know that God is ultimately in control, that He is faithful – whether we’ve been making good choices or not.

Couldn’t resist mentioning my sweet 3 year-old niece who has already got a great grasp on the concept of choice. She’s been known to reply to situations (usually consequences) with “Life is choices”

Life Update

It has been for-ev-er since my last post. All of my more “recent” posts have started that way…! In many ways it is a good thing. In fact, the only bad thing about it is that I do still miss blogging regularly.

*scroll down if you want to see what we’ve been up to, picture style and skip my wordiness

To build off my last post, Live Simply, I am doing life differently and loving it! (It is a process and I have in no way mastered it… yet ) In the midst of my irritation and constant purging of stuff over the past few months, someone has joined the party… my husband! I kind of had viewed this as a personal process. Something I was craving, something I was going to do. I did not set out thinking it was something we would do together, but it has been SO encouraging to design this new way of living with my husband wanting to participate! Which brings me to Valentines Day…

For Valentine’s Day, J kept mentioning this great present he was going to give me. He used ‘unsurpassed’ and ‘useful for our future’ to describe it. So, naturally, I was a bit nervous and had no idea what it could be (although part of me was hoping for an iPad, can you blame this tech loving girl?). When I finally got my gift, it was surprising. No iPad, nothing shiny, but more thought and sentiment than anything J has done before. {Except our proposal, in which he incorporated my parents’ story… another post for another day!} He took out time to create a family book/plan for us. He outlined our goals, dreams, and desires — backing them up with scripture and quotes from people we admire and respect. He created questions to spur deeper discussions to help us map out our future. He made a ‘weekly meeting’ outline. On Sunday nights we sit down and talk about the upcoming week, set goals, make sure we know what we have going on and what needs to get done. We discuss everything from bills and car maintenance to work outs, home projects, meals, etc. In the 5 meetings we’ve had, I haven’t gone in to all of them excited and energized, but I always leave them thankful. Our house is functioning better, we are communicating better, and things are getting accomplished – slow and steady!

J and I are making leaps and bounds towards living a simple, intentional, purposeful life which is SO encouraging. I’m so thankful for my husband and his thoughtfulness towards his {very particularly awesome} wife.

Surely I’m forgetting something, but since my last post on here we:
Met our triplet nephews and niece — Carter & Mailon (who are identical) & Lilly

The Trips

Visited HHI (one of our very favorite places on earth! If you haven’t been… GO!) the week before Christmas, and I also played my first entire round of golf!

God's creation is BEAUTIFUL

Daytime isn't so bad, either!

Celebrated Christmas with both our immediate families

Henry Family Christmas 2011

I’m missing a pic from celebrating with my fam…

Attended S&V’s NYE gender reveal party and found out we’re going to meet another niece

The gender was revealed when they cut the cake - very cute!

All the Mrs.Henrys

Took a road trip with my cousin to Orlando where we met my Dad and brother to attend the Capital One Bowl and witness the Husker’s sad loss

Capital One Bowl 2012

Celebrated our 4th anniversary

4th Anniversary

Made our first trip to the Biltmore in Asheville, NC

Asheville, NC

*Side Note: Does the image below remind anyone else of Eureka’s Castle? Totally brought me back to good ole Nick Jr days…

Eureka's Castle fish...

Husband put his mitre saw and nail gun to good use as we updated our dining room with better trim details, ditched the two-tone paint, and added new-to-us furniture (given to us by J’s grandpa, Duv)

BEFORE

AFTER

Met our sweet niece, whose gender reveal party we attended on NYE

Meeting Emma Jane

All ready to go home!

And while there are no photos for the following, they’re worth mentioning. We had visits with two of J’s cousins, we are both playing basketball again, have been spending a LOT of time with our local family loving every minute, and my hard-working/hard studying husband earned his PMP which was SO exciting!

We also were blessed with another nephew on St Patrick’s Day, but we haven’t gotten to meet him yet. The little guy came early and is having trouble with his lungs Please say a prayer for Dominick.

Live Simply

Lately I’ve been craving change, change for the simple. I’m too spread out, too chaotic, too unfocused. I need to pick and choose things, people, projects, parts of life to seriously focus on. I’m tired of the un-needed drama and chaos of just going through the days – getting by without much progress towards anything. I love blogging – but I hardly ever carve out time to do it. I love my friends and get-togethers, but I pretty much have only been keeping up with them via newsfeed and tweets. I love photography, but I have a broken camera and haven’t set a goal towards getting a new one. I enjoy cultivating new and creative ideas, but I’m settling for an environment that isn’t allowing me  time or energy to indulge.

There are always a million things that need doing, but I’m pretty much just getting the basics done (on the good days!) and not much else. Now that my eyes are opened to this fact, it is very frustrating and disappointing. I need discipline. I need a plan. I need schedules and lists. So, I am beginning on a massive overhaul of how I ‘do’ life. I want to be intentional. I want to be driven, focused, and disciplined. Change is scary – and I’m terrified. Being lazy is much easier. Settling because of fear isn’t worth it, or healthy. My life is going to get simple, focused, and disciplined. I’ll participate in the things I feel are valuable, the things that really matter. I won’t waste time on meaningless wandering – rather invest in the life that has a lasting affect. I will do my best to get into situations where the things I do matter.

I’d rather do few things really well than lots of things half-hearted and wearily.

What better time to have this realization come settling in? Its the close of a year, and, for me, a close on this style of living. Now for researching, creating goals, making the lists and planning out how to be better at being intentional. How to get my lazy self un-lazy. I’ve got a to-do list,  Prayers and well wishes welcome… I’ll appreciate the encouragement!

Prayer for My Friends

I’ve added some logos/links to my sidebar, and they are people {and lives} that I am thankful for. I’d love for you to join with me and specifically praying for these people. Their situations are all extremely difficult, but they are not alone in their fight.

Team Chin is in support of one of my best middle school friends, Leanne, who is fighting breast cancer and expecting her first baby (Grover) in the spring. I’m so proud of her strength and faith. I’m excited for her to become a mom. I’m also so lucky to call her ‘friend’. And I’m praying that her cancer fight is swift and effective!

Karis Almy is the first baby of one of my high school friends who has a fatal disease called Krabbe. Katie is an amazing mother with an amazing faith. You can follow Karis’ story via the Almy blog.

Seanstrong is the son of one of my Dad’s good friends. (to access Sean’s story you do have to give your email for CaringBridge, but they don’t spam you or anything) He’s been down the cancer road before and is battling again, but not without the support of an awesome family, and community behind him!

With each of these stories, I become more and more thankful for Jesus, my savior, who provides hope for a future where sin and sadness are left behind – but until then, I’ll be praying for healing and comfort for each of these precious lives!