Lately I’ve been craving change, change for the simple. I’m too spread out, too chaotic, too unfocused. I need to pick and choose things, people, projects, parts of life to seriously focus on. I’m tired of the un-needed drama and chaos of just going through the days – getting by without much progress towards anything. I love blogging – but I hardly ever carve out time to do it. I love my friends and get-togethers, but I pretty much have only been keeping up with them via newsfeed and tweets. I love photography, but I have a broken camera and haven’t set a goal towards getting a new one. I enjoy cultivating new and creative ideas, but I’m settling for an environment that isn’t allowing me time or energy to indulge.
There are always a million things that need doing, but I’m pretty much just getting the basics done (on the good days!) and not much else. Now that my eyes are opened to this fact, it is very frustrating and disappointing. I need discipline. I need a plan. I need schedules and lists. So, I am beginning on a massive overhaul of how I ‘do’ life. I want to be intentional. I want to be driven, focused, and disciplined. Change is scary – and I’m terrified. Being lazy is much easier. Settling because of fear isn’t worth it, or healthy. My life is going to get simple, focused, and disciplined. I’ll participate in the things I feel are valuable, the things that really matter. I won’t waste time on meaningless wandering – rather invest in the life that has a lasting affect. I will do my best to get into situations where the things I do matter.
I’d rather do few things really well than lots of things half-hearted and wearily.
What better time to have this realization come settling in? Its the close of a year, and, for me, a close on this style of living. Now for researching, creating goals, making the lists and planning out how to be better at being intentional. How to get my lazy self un-lazy. I’ve got a to-do list, Prayers and well wishes welcome… I’ll appreciate the encouragement!