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Sometimes it just stings.

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*I’ve been debating whether or not to post this all week. I decided to go ahead with hope that this will help someone… and trust that my friends/family/readers realize this is not a pity party.

Sometimes it just stings.

Yesterday (Mother’s Day) was a hard day for me. And not because I can’t/don’t have babies (although my heart breaks for my friends who are going through this) or because I don’t know wonderful mothers or because I had some horrible relationship with my mom. In fact, I had a wonderful Mr.Mom who learned to french braid hair, play with Barbies, and actively learned about ‘girl’ life just so I could have as normal upbringing as possible. I have 2 phenomenal grandmothers who helped take care of me and walked along side my Daddy to help raise me. I have an Aunt who will go out of her way to make me feel special and catered to. There were mother’s of friends, “aunts”, and a nanny who all treated me like family, even though no blood is shared. I’ve also got the best mother-in-law a girl could hope for.  I am thankful for each of them and the impact they’ve had on my life.

BUT…
it is an ugly but…
and it is a but that I will battle the rest of my life…

I love this photo. I love that expression.

I feel the sting. The sting only death can leave on a person. It’s one of those things. A flood of emotion that slugs you in the gut and is just plain hard. Mother’s Day does not make me unhappy. I don’t write this out of bitterness or anger, or to take away from other’s wonderful days. I’m just sore. Stung, sore, and raw. Like a fresh wound. I’ve found that grief ebbs and flows, and this is a time when it flows. Jealousy creeps. There is the hole in my life, a hole that is reserved for MY mother. For OUR relationship. The longing for a relationship strong and secure, similar to the one I have with my Dad, but different because it would be with my mother. I replay stories and photographs in my mind. Stories other people have told me, because I really don’t remember. Pictures I have seen and committed to memory. A tear or two fall. Then I look in the mirror. Something about looking in the mirror makes me feel comfort, closer to her. I look like her, and that is something we share. She was physically beautiful, and I’m glad I got a little bit of that beauty! She also had a beautiful character and is fondly remembered. I’m thankful every time someone tells me I remind them of her. Whether I do something just like her or say something just like her or my mannerisms are just like her. I’m thankful for these notable similarities because it is another dot that connects me to her. Another thing to help give shape to the void.  I trust that she would be proud, because they tell me she would be. They know because they remember. While I miss her terribly and wish I could bring her a humongous bouquet of peonies and a Val’s pizza for dinner, instead I must cling to the promises of the cross. The promise that Christ has indeed defeated sin. That she isn’t experiencing any sadness or pain or consequence of sin — rather she is dancing with joy. She is home. That one day I will go home, too. We will be together and worship Him. And that will be a fabulous day friends. A day I anticipate.
This week also marks the week my parents would have celebrated their anniversary. I’m so thankful she had such fantastic taste. She knew he would be  terrific father… even if he doubted. She did well!
Some comfort from Hebrews 12:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Tomahawk Chop

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Happy Monday, everyone!

I just stole these from my sister in law, Ness’  blog. Figure I better post before I forget! On Friday night we were invited to our first Braves game of the season with Sean, Ness, and all 3 girls! We were lucky enough to be treated to the Bobby Cox Suite… if only 6 would have been there himself! His stand-in was pretty lifelike though.

Both the view and food were wonderful

Fun Fact – The Braves chop is one of the first things these girls are taught to do. By now they are pros!

So grateful to get to be so close to family and get to see these sweet girls growing.

Saturday we spent doing MORE yard improvements – seems like it will never end. Things are coming together and every time we’re out there we just have to remind ourselves where we started from.

Triplets!!!

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For those of you still keeping me in your blogroll or stopping in every now and then, THANKS! We’ve been super busy with several out of town trips since Labor Day. I think things are finally slowing down a bit — or I may be too busy decorating my house for the holidays and starting some ridiculous project which we won’t have enough time to finish before said holidays!

I’m actually posting today because this cuteness must be shared.

via Bump Meet Baby Photography Charleston, SC

TRIPLETS!

I realize it’s past halloween… but are they not the sweetest little candycorns you have ever seen?! These are my newest nephews and niece. Lilly is in the middle, Carter is on the left (I think), and Mailon is on the right — C&M are identical. They’re 2 weeks now, at home and doing wonderfully!

Cutie Patooties

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Cutie Patootie: someone so cute that the word cute itself has to morph into something cuter

I haven’t posted the sweetness of our nieces and nephews in quite awhile…

MickeyG, Wyatt, Ax, Rowan

And how adorable is it that they all showed up coordinating the day I got to go play with them. Crazy cute, right!?!

Happy Birthday Mickey G!

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MickeyG

This precious bundle of cuteness turns 2 today!

Happy Birthday Mickey G, we LOVE you! And since our niece has a thing for Elmo…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY M

Christmas on Devonshire

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This year J and I were lucky enough to celebrate ANOTHER first Christmas 🙂 This year it was our first Christmas in our first home! All together now “Awww…” Ok, ok. Anyway our lives have been slightly hectic since we’re doing a lot of reno on the house AND working AND family time AND moving out of the back half of our house. More on all of that later.

Here is a snapshot of what Christmas 2009 held for us:

Jeffrey and I headed up to my Dad’s house for the traditional Christmas Eve service at Perimeter. We were also able to meet up with Matt Abs and his parents for the service which was really fun! Actually I think this marks 2 years in a row with Matt on Christmas Eve… hmm, new tradition?! I’m ALL about the traditions. Nothing quite so moving as candlelight being reflected through HUGE 2 story windows and everyone singing Silent Night. Love it. Love it. One of my favorite things about Christmas.

We kinda wanted to stay in our house for our first Christmas here, but with the looming possibility that my little bro might wake up at 7am calling us to hike it up to Alpharetta, we decided just to crash at Dads.

Christmas Eve

Me Jeff C Dad Adrienne and Toby & Sally (of course!)

Funny story. We were SO concerned about Carter waking up early that he (and I) ended up sleeping in and having to be woken up at 9AM. Jeff woke up about 7:30 and I so kindly told him that we don’t wake up until the little brother comes and gets us up! 🙂 I LOVE my sleep, even on Christmas!

Stockings are full and Santa paper has appeared... Santa MUST have been here

a fun exciting blur of Christmas morning... they go by so quick!

We spent the afternoon at Jeffrey’s parents. We just had a relaxing afternoon seeing our nephews and enjoying the gifts that Santa brought the family.  Then Christmas night we had a great time with just Mom and Dad playing wits-n-wagers. It was great because its so rare to hang out with just them! Before we even realized it we were rolling into our driveway about 11:40… Just enough time to rip open our presents when it was still REALLY Christmas.

Our tree with all our loot

See the big package on the right side? Yea… thats what hubs got me. Give ya one guess. Its off my list.

Toby got to open presents first. He got bones, a new ball, and a rope toy!

Jeffrey got an iphone accessories themed stocking

I got Tommy Boy and golf clubs... just in case Jeff gets outta line 😉 haha, I couldn't resist.

We didn’t celebrate Christmas with the Henry side until Sunday. We missed Carrie and Skip. Its fun to watch the kiddos and their new toys:

We gave Mickey G a shopping cart...

We gave Wyatt a new desk full of alphabet letters he can play with

a GRAND shot